I’m Mental, I Promise


I’m in one of those moods.
Where it becomes painfully obvious
That I’m disturbed

That I can’t be trusted
Especially when I start to mutter
I’m convinced that I’m unstable
And I know it’s only a matter of time

Lock me up, it’s not like I didn’t expect it
Especially after I picked up that knife

It’s amazing how this all started, with one little trouble maker
And ended up with blood, tears, and questions
That incidentally- I can’t answer.


disclaimer: not my song purely for entertainment bla bla etc… My Chemical Romance: I’m not Okay

Advertisements

Suicide Song


I

Suicide smiles

Hide the pain behind the lies

Hide the pain as your heart dies

Hate your life and it’ll be alright

Scream for help as they turn their backs

And you will turn my back on life

And we will turn my back on life

And I will turn my back on life

Somehow I don’t think they would cry at my funeral

II

Suicide is the background music to my life

An ever constant ringing in my ears

My subconscious claws at my sanity

Conscious mind force feeds me reason

And I’m left wondering how to escape from this war I wage against myself

III

Mediocrity is a disease.

It makes you cough and then you wheeze

At 1st you burn and then freeze

I think I’ve found a final cure to make us right,

To makes us ‘cool’

It hurts at 1st and then-

Never Again

IV

I’m trying to find my happy place- I think I lost it or maybe I never had it to begin with

Where did all the sunshine and rainbows go?

I’m looking for bunny rabbits, butterflies and cotton candy but instead there’s:

me all alone in the dark.

With that feeling that makes me wanna right a letter

and do that thing that’ll make it all better

Forever

Misery (Make a Move)


If misery loves company, then why am I always alone?

Waiting for you by my phone.

Keep me at hands length so that I can’t move on.

Stuck here- stuck to you- like quicksand.

Let me go

Because I can’t let you go

But I know your ego won’t let you

You’d rather we both drown; sink beneath the surface

Than face this world alone.

Enough I cry!

I won’t die for you

I never said would

I know Ive lied for you

Again and again

Until I have nothing left of me.

And that’s why I say no more

All I want is to be alone

To dig your claws out of my abused flesh.

Try to salvage the remains

To heal

And then revenge…

Universal Cure


I try, I swear I do

But it never seemed to go the way we wanted

I didn’t mean it, I swear it’s true

I only tried my best to hurt you.

We’re playing tug of war with feeling

And throwing bombs with words

We had it good they told us

We never saw the signs

 

You tried your best to hurt me

I swear my love it worked

We tried our best to end it all

To find a universal cure

Timeless


Yesterday

I found that I was becoming myself

and it scared me

so I lied to myself and got away with it

Today

Is the day to ‘Be’ (me?)

who is this person?

Trying to get through this day

While I staying in my (right) mind

But really we are alone together

In truth we  are alive and dying together

In time we will realise that it’s futile

Tomorrow

I will continue to lie in this pool of the obscene

And decide to fade away silently

To scream and kick until I can’t be ignored anymore

Behind The Curtains


She lives behind a shroud of mystery and the dark unknown

Alice in her own obscure Wonderland

We are a turbulent world to confuse and perturb

So she hides behind the curtains

All around her we stir, creatures of the abyss

Our subcultures and intricacies –

Our customs baffle and amuse her

So she laughs behind the curtains

The Curtains silken and dark are home and protector

Down her thin frame the thick mane extends- an impenetrable fortress

Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair

So that I may glimpse your face so fair…

At her desk she sits, sketching away

Or nose buried behind a book

Hidden away in plain sight

No one can see you behind the curtains

Cold, cruel and calculating we all can be

They are the youth of today

And she is their prey

The blood sucking leeches

They feed on tears and fear

On the misery of others

They will never know

Late at night when all is dark and still

She cries behind the curtains

Drowning in the Chorus


Sometimes I let myself go

I feel everything fall away

And numbness spread all the way down to my core

All that’s left is the music

Torturous and unrelenting

Reminding me that behind the icy cool numbness there’s: rage, pain, sorrow.

Everything I can’t bear bottled up and thrown in my face

And behind it all is you.

It was always you and always will be.

That taunting laughter, that thin smile anything but warm…

Close my eyes and I can see your condescending glare

Shake my head and nothings there.

I’m on my own.

So I turn up the music

Drown in the chorus

Until it crushes my soul

Until my heart bursts